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Tampilkan postingan dengan label Alcohol. Tampilkan semua postingan
I Need This!
It has been another long, rough day here at work. I am going to break open a new bottle of Jack Daniels that I bought last week and drink until I pass out! Chance of going to work tomorrow - 5%!Just in Time - Super Bowl 47 Drinking Game
Sent to me by my good friend Rob Goodwin. Thanks Rob!!!
Super Bowl 47 Drinking Game
What you'll need:
- Beer or Drink of Choice for everybody
- A plastic cup for everybody
- A sharpie
- A scorecard
- A pitcher full of the DOC
- The Drink of Champions (D.O.C.) - A shot you can make up of whatever you wish. It needs to be stronger than a mixed drink, but should not be all alcohol (unless you're insane) as players will be taking between 20-40 shots of this. Last year I believe ours was a mixture of Bacardi, Arctic Freeze Gatorade, Monster Energy Drink, Patron Citronge, and Chambord. We basically throw whatever we can find into a pitcher. You'll likely need to make a fresh batch at least once a quarter.
The game revolves around 4-10 players (could certainly be expanded) who are each assigned a different "position" in the game. To start the game, you'll draw positions out of a hat, and write them on your cup. You may need to keep the rules handy to remind each other when to drink (since you'll all be shitfaced quite quickly.)
The positions are as follows:
- 1. Sack Master Flash - Gives 3 shots, takes 3 shots for a sack.
- 2. Mr. Turnover - Either team turns over ball, give 2 shots and take 2 shots. If returned for a touchdown, finish your beer.
- 3. The Flagger - Either team gets holding penalty, take a shot. Pass Interference, finish your beer.
- 4. Special Ed - Takes 1 shot/Gives 1 shot for every punt, FG, kickoff
- 5. Miss Field Goal - Gives 3 shots for a make, takes 3 shots for a miss
- 6. The Zebra - Takes and gives one shot everytime the ref speaks.
- 7. The Trainer - Take 2 shots and gives 2 shots if a player gets injured (injury timeout). If a player is carted off, everybody pours some of their drink into The Trainer's cup -- which he/she drinks.
- 8. The Showboat - Takes a shot everytime somebody celebrates. For a celebration in the end zone, gives 3 shots.
(You can add or subtract positions depending on number of people playing. Also adapt the amounts of shots/drinks to fit your group of drinkers.)
You'll want to keep track on a white board or some kind of scorecard of everyone's shots (good luck) to see who is the ultimate winner (or loser) of the game.
Once kickoff begins, you must always refer to the game as "Super Bowl 47." If not, you take a drink.
We've had different wrinkles over the years, but try to keep any additional rules limited, as everyone forgets them by the end of the 1st quarter anyway. Last year we added a Fantasy Player wrinkle.
Before the game, each player picks a Fantasy Player in the game. If your player scores a touchdown, you become the President. During this time you're free to give out drinks, shots, make rules, and generally be a dickhead. Once somebody else's player scores, you lose your presidency. If a non-owned player scores, everyone does a shot of the DOC, and the president is impeached and does 3 shots of DOC.
And that's everything! Enjoy! I'll reply in the comments with some good stories, and maybe even some pics past parties."
The H-Bomb and Dating
I remember a girl I was dating right after I graduated from college. She was a girl who was a singer in a country band and she was a hottie. She was also a wild one in bed. Man she did some crazy stuff!
We weren't too serious. We both were in it for fun, partying and sex. I don't think either one of us wanted to settle down so it was nice to find someone who was on the same page as I was.
One night she said that there was something I should know, and my heart dropped because I figured she was going to drop the H-Bomb (H Bomb: When someone you are sleeping with tells you they have the herpes.) on me. I felt my heart sink and a knot in my stomach. I braced myself and told her to tell me what was on her mind. What I heard next was a mixed bag of feelings. Elations followed by concern. She just thought I should know that not too long ago she was addicted to pain pills and she thought she was an alcoholic. My first thought was "Thank God! I am disease free!". My next thought was "That's it? Isn't that what singers are supposed to do? Drugs and alcohol. No biggie."
I asked her if there was anything I could do to help. She said "No, it is ok." Then we had sex. We messed around for about 3 more months. I never saw her pop any pills, but I saw her drink a ton. Honestly, it didn't bother me. I drank too and her drinking and pill-popping never was a problem, at least not when she was around me. We parted our separate ways when her band went to Nashville to try and make it big. They never did and I never saw her again.
Drunk
What lucky, lucky little people you all are. You are all witnesses to my first ever drunk blog posting. For those of you who can't tell, this is me drunk. What? No, assholes. This ISN'T what I am always like. Drunk posting isn't good enough for you? Well - okay. I'll also share this little secret with you. I'm naked too. How's that for excitement? Drunk and naked and sitting at my computer.
I've been entertaining important people yesterday and today. For the most part this involves shit tons of drinking, listening to old, married men talk about picking up some "bitches," listening to 25 jokes that begin with, "did you hear about the jewish guy who. . . " and getting drunk under the table by 10, 60 year old men. (drunk under the table doesn't sound right. . . Is that right?)
All night tonight I thought of fantastic stories that I was going to tell. Now that I am home and drunk, I can't remember any of them. Oh, I remember one thing I was going to say. You know what happiness is? Sitting in a business meeting and seeing a conservative 28 year old business girl wearing a business girl suit stretch across a conference table to reveal a pink dental floss thong under her business girl suit. Nice. Very nice.
Well fuck me. Now I don't have anything else to say. Fuck it.
Why didn't I get that business girl's number today? I couldn't think of a good line at the end of the meeting. How many times do have to go out with someone before it is no longer okay to ask out a pink thong wearing business girl? Hmm. Maybe I was just kidding a few lines ago when I said something about asking that girl out. Yeah, that was a joke. Totally kidding about that.
You know what? I wish I could be drunk all of the time. Being drunk is fucking awesome. I don't know if you knew that or not. But it is. It rules, actually.
Okay, I sound stupid now so I'm hitting "publish post" and calling it a night.
Word to your collective mothers and such. (Jesus God, you would think being drunk would make me sound cooler and at least a little funnier).
My Hangover
Monday morning is here. The hangover is just now starting to clear (but it's not gone yet). I was drunk from Wednesday night until Sunday morning. What a life I lead.
One story I forgot to share was about my hangover from Friday morning. A bunch of people went out to dinner Friday night. Actually, we went out for drinks at a restaurant it seems. It was me and 6 rich bastards. They were buying. We started at a hotel bar before dinner and I had 3 vodka tonics. (I don't know about you, but I have always heard the acceptable recipe for vodka tonic is 1 part vodka, two parts tonic. This bartender apparently liked to reverse that mixture). We were only there for a half hour. Then we went to the restaurant were I ate grilled shark with 2 more vodka tonics. By the time dinner was over I couldn't focus my eyes very well across the table. Dinner lasted two hours and everyone was shit faced. (I saw one guy leave a $200 tip on a $400 bill). We went to a another bar near the restaurant, where I decided I had already had too much to drink (so I switched to beer). 3 draft beers later and I could feel myself slumping in my chair.
When I got home, no big deal. I actually felt pretty good. I drunkenly played some guitar. I played with my doggy. (That is not a euphemism - I actually played with my dog), and then I sat down to watch some TV. That is when I realized things were bad. It was a TV spinning, nauseated, must close eyes before I fall out of my chair, kind of feeling. As I sat in my char in a shirt and tie with my eyes closed, I fell fast asleep (read: I passed out in my clothes in front of the TV). I woke up Friday morning at 5:00 a.m. with a pain in my back from sleeping in a straight up position. I sat there for 10 minutes trying to figure out what the hell happened.
Cue the vomit scene. That's right my friends, I threw up. Big time. Everything came up. (At one point I swear I saw a part of a fin). I did this two more times while getting ready for work. After the third vomit scene I started to feel better and drove in. I had a 9:00 meeting which I was required to attend. At 9:15 I politely excused myself from the meeting and walked calmly to the restroom where I vomited again. I wiped the tears from the eyes (I don't hurl pretty), popped a mint in my mouth, straightened the tie and returned to the meeting. My God, I am trooper. Eight hours later I was on my second beer and discussing which waitress at the bar had the best breasts.
Now I am not drinking again for two years. (or this Friday, whichever comes first). I have pain all over my body and my eyes are continuously bloodshot. That isn't going away for some reason. It is probably unrelated to the drinking. I bet I have eye cancer.
I need a drink.
My Friend's Girlfriend is So Caring
It was Johnny's Birthday yesterday. He sent me a couple of pics of what his girlfriend did for him. DAMN! She is a keeper John!!!A Bouquet of Bacon Roses, Candy and alcohol!
If You don't marry that woman, I will!
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