Heinz EZ Squirt colored ketchup!
Anybody Remember This? The year was 2000 and for some unknown reason (maybe they were doing some hardcore drugs over there), Heinz wanted to make the ketchup world exciting by putting out a line of squirtable, colored ketchup. Heinz EZ Squirt came in purple, green, blue and a "mystery color." Heinz EZ Squirt was supposed to taste just like ketchup, but it's funny how when you put your tongue on green ketchup, it doesn't really taste like blended tomatoes but rather like the slime that Nickelodeon uses on that stupid show of theirs. I am surprised this stuff lasted 6 years.
Why do I write about this today? I was over at my friends house the other day. He is moving and I was helping him pack some stuff up and lending him my truck. This guy is not the neatest or most organized dude in the world. So we were cleaning out his fridge and we found stuff buried in the back and the bottom that was old! I mean REAL OLD! We found rotted fruit, sour cream from 2009, a pint of spoiled milk dated 2010 and the creme de la creme, a purple Heinz EZ Squirt that had to be a leftover from 2006. He dumped the purple ketchup, which had an unGodly smell and had turned to a grayish color, rinsed the bottle and told me he was going to keep it as a souvenir. Why? I have no idea. He just told me that the bottle will be worth something someday since they don't make it anymore. To Which I replied "You might get a dollar for it in about 25 years."
Anybody Remember This? The year was 2000 and for some unknown reason (maybe they were doing some hardcore drugs over there), Heinz wanted to make the ketchup world exciting by putting out a line of squirtable, colored ketchup. Heinz EZ Squirt came in purple, green, blue and a "mystery color." Heinz EZ Squirt was supposed to taste just like ketchup, but it's funny how when you put your tongue on green ketchup, it doesn't really taste like blended tomatoes but rather like the slime that Nickelodeon uses on that stupid show of theirs. I am surprised this stuff lasted 6 years.
Why do I write about this today? I was over at my friends house the other day. He is moving and I was helping him pack some stuff up and lending him my truck. This guy is not the neatest or most organized dude in the world. So we were cleaning out his fridge and we found stuff buried in the back and the bottom that was old! I mean REAL OLD! We found rotted fruit, sour cream from 2009, a pint of spoiled milk dated 2010 and the creme de la creme, a purple Heinz EZ Squirt that had to be a leftover from 2006. He dumped the purple ketchup, which had an unGodly smell and had turned to a grayish color, rinsed the bottle and told me he was going to keep it as a souvenir. Why? I have no idea. He just told me that the bottle will be worth something someday since they don't make it anymore. To Which I replied "You might get a dollar for it in about 25 years."
I tried to get him to throw it out, but he wouldn't. I see him on the show "Hoarders" in another 5 years. The guy has coke bottles, cookie boxes, orange juice containers, etc. all from the 80's, 90's and 2000's. I think his life plan is to save everything and then sell it in about 20 years and live off the profits. Sorry Craig, but that isn't going to work! Your junk is worth about $100 now, in 20 years it might be worth $250. That would last you about a week. Get a job buddy!
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