This morning I agreed to go on a run with my neighbor. We are both trying to get into shape and I definitely need the exercise. We decided to run around the biking trails of West Des Moines.
After only about a mile of running, I was wanting to turn back. Although my hangover was subsiding, I was freezing my dick off! Literally!!! I don't mean to be rude or use a play on words, but my dick was really freezing. I started thinking about how I have spent my whole life trying to get my dick into warm (and usually wet) places and now I am out running on a Saturday morning and my dick may render itself useless for the rest of my life due to frostbite! What if they have to remove it!!!! OMG!!!
Now for you warm climate dudes and women reading this, let me explain what happens when that part of the male anatomy gets really, really, really cold. Of course it shrivels up and your balls retract into your body, seeking warmth. That alone can be uncomfortable. You also loose your concentration. You cannot concentrate on anything other than trying to figure out a way to get your genitals warmed up. It becomes an obsession. A guy does not want to go to the hospital emergency room looking for treatment of hypothermia of the penis. That would be a little embarrassing.
I thought I was ready for this. I had some nice running tights that I thought were warm. I had psyched myself up before going out. I knew it was going to be cold, but I thought the power of the mind and thoughts of a Caribbean Beach would fight off the cold. And besides, I was going to be running and burning calories; creating heat!
To make a long story short, we jogged almost three miles and we all survived (me, my balls and my dick!) No hypothermia, no frostbite - It was a miracle!
And I learned a valuable lesson: Do Not go Jogging when it is under 40 degrees outside! I am sorry penis, I will never subject you to that again!
